Socially active is a commonly misunderstood term. Hanging out with the same people is not socially active, meeting new people is what socially active really means.
Being socially active is very important for your personal development because when you meet new people, the exchange of a plethora of experiences begins. This exchange of experience boosts personal development.
Most of us have come across this, many times. Still, this hasn’t spurred us into action. Because having factual information and actionable information is different.
Factual information can be good to use in conversations, but without the actionable information of how to start a conversation, there would be no point of the factual information you have.
The issues that stop us from being more socially active are:
- We don’t know how to approach somebody.
- Even if, somebody introduces us (wingman style), we still can’t do it.
Which boils down to one thing.
Yes, FIRST IMPRESSION is the most important and you need to master this if you want to be successful SOCIALLY ACTIVE.
There are 5 tenets for a perfect first impression, master this and you will open gates of endless possibilities and success for yourself.
Let’s dive in.
OPEN YOURSELF TO THE POSSIBILITIES
First things first, change your attitude towards what will happen.
Mostly, when meeting new people, we feel anxious, that feeds into negative thoughts which shout at the top of their voice, “THEY WON’T LIKE YOU.”
What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.
Because you are holding down to such negative thoughts, the result will be negative. Let’s change that.
Take a subtle, deep breath. Clear your mind. Believe in the possibility that “everything will be great” like it’s the reality.
One SINGLE step of unwavering belief is the most important for your socially active journey.
You have successfully changed your attitude.
This is the essence of a confident attitude towards life and should be a commandment to follow while doing anything.
Your attitude matters a lot when meeting new people, be CONFIDENT.
Your confident attitude will give rise to a confident body language.
Your negative thoughts and fears lead to unconfident body language, the slouched, fidgety one, remember.
Your confident and positive attitude will render you ramrod straight beaming with a smile.
THE EYE CONTACT
Eyes are the windows to the soul.
They sure are.
People can gauge your emotional state from your eyes, which is why it’s very important to master this step. Because misstep here will lead the whole process to be futile.
So here’s what you need:
☑ Confident attitude ️
☑ ️C️onfident body language
Yay, we have done this already in the first step.
Be the first to make the eye contact.
Convey your willingness to meet new people and share your thoughts with them. To grow with them.
Show that you possess a growth mindset. Show both of you will grow emotionally and intellectually.
Show your sincerity towards the opportunity that is a gift from the universe.
The first ephemeral moment of eye contact is all it takes to convey all this.
You need to smile.
This should be done right. Because smiles seem easy to fake, but the other person can subconsciously detect your fake smile. That will be the end of what you were trying to achieve.
The difference between a fake smile and a genuine smile lies in your facial micro-expressions.
When you genuinely smile, the smile comes from the whole face, your lips curve up, a little bit of teeth, the wrinkly pattern around your eyes. Now, that is a GENUINE smile.
Fake smiles, on the other hand, will be just your lips curving up.
To give a genuine smile, you need to feel the excitement and the endless possibilities you are entertaining to the full extent.
Feel it in your bones. Feel it in your thoughts. Feel it with your full body.
You should be the shining light in the dark night.
Now, let that smile conquer the world!
Now, let’s introduce ourselves.
This is the first time they will hear your voice.
Your voice shouldn’t be too loud or too meek.
Just the right amount, as if you would talk to your friends, you are confident, free and happy.
Your genuine willingness to know new people should exude from your next words.
‘Hi, I am Abhishek.’
with a little spice of pleasantness and genuine heartfelt happiness, and a good, firm handshake.
Be the first here, as well. Because you are the initiator of the conversation, yay!
You will steer the conversation. You are the driver for this conversation.
But, wait, these are only 4 steps.
Yes, the last step is the final masterstroke.
It is a slight, almost imperceptible forward tilt.
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.
This slight, forward tilt stirs up the other person’s subconscious into knowing this person is into talking to me.
You will shower upon yourself, genuine, heartfelt words from the other person.
The other person will feel more comfortable and open towards you.
The connection you will make with another person will be 100% genuine, pure to the core.
The genuine connection is the essence of socially active. The connection makes us grow as if with magic.
Now, go out (after quarantine though, but a little preparation doesn’t hurt) and be socially active.
If you want to further read about this, here’s the book.
Abhishek Verma is a researcher in the field of deep learning and artificial intelligence. He likes to write about the logical way of self-improvement. Spurred by emotions, he also likes to write poetry. Stay in touch by joining his newsletter. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Mix.