Understanding Oneself

Abhishek Verma
2 min readJan 18, 2020
Photo by Moodywalk on Unsplash

Mahavir, the founder of Jainism, has a name that means the biggest and greatest of the bravehearts, yet, he never fought a war in his life.

So, why is it that he is called Mahavir.

He is said to gain victory upon himself.

Do we understand ourselves? Do we know what we want?

Aren’t we like the feather that is dropped from the sky and aimlessly reaches the ground?

Aren’t we like the leaf that loses its stand on a stormy day and aimlessly reaches the ground?

What are we if not an inkling in the big conundrum that universe is? What is the value of the existence of a single person? What is the value of the breath you are taking right now?

The cost of living here in this moment, what it is? What are you paying?

You are paying with your time. Every birthday may tell you have matured but it also tells you are going to meet your end soon. But, that is a nihilistic way of looking at birthdays, so, take that with a pinch of salt.

What do we want?

The more I think about it. It feels that the answer keeps running away from me. It runs like a butterfly I am trying to chase. Its resplendent colourful wings are mesmerizing me and I am in a trance chasing it. It keeps on flying towards the endless sky leaving behind in the dust.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

The one-line lovers and friends alike.

A mere connotation of “Till death do us part”.

Our inner child says this to us when we step into adulthood.

We all are still the same chasing money instead of butterflies.

The objects may change, but the intent remains the same.

The garnishing of responsibility that the recipe of our life now has, is a huge task to surmount.

We are SUPPOSED to do a lot of things.

What are they we don’t know?
We don’t want to know.


We are afraid.

If we accept it, then, who the f**k will chase that to the end of the world?

If not us, then who?

There is an inner warrior in all of us.

Every time you berate yourself. You are marring his will to fight. The will of fire inside him is put out with our own self-negating and demeaning words to yourself.

Your heart beats,
You breathe,
You dream,
You achieve.

Abhishek Verma is a researcher in the field of deep learning and artificial intelligence. He likes to write about the logical way of self-improvement. Spurred by emotions, he also likes to write poetry. Stay in touch by joining his newsletter. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Mix.